In this week's article, if you don’t mind I want to share some truth about my true “Why” and motivation on how I began my wellness journey.

I frequently get the question; “Stephen, how did you get the motivation and drive to lose so much weight”? I hear it more than any other question. Before we can discuss how I conjured up the deep needed drive and motivation to lose 197lbs we have to understand the trouble that I was facing in my life. I was extremely sick, I was unhappy and defeated with my marriage, I was working and taking care of my family and had nothing to show for it, I was battling disease and It got to a point where life didn’t feel worth living…

I did not want to lose my life, I thought about my children and how they would be left to their mother whom I did not trust, I thought about my family and my friends and considered who would miss me. I began to then get sad and depressed and quickly that turned into anger which I was able to use to begin my journey into the wellness path. Anger was not the answer even though it gave me the spark to ignite the fuel to my journey. Anger can tunnel vision yourself and push towards a specific goal which in those times is usually self-preservation. The spark was now lit, but I needed to fuel this with something deep inside of me that could drive me every single day.

What Drives a human to do anything? What is one of the core directives in the human body? Survival… It is one of the things that we will intuitively do all the time without thinking. I began to search my heart and find things I had hidden deep inside. The ego is a part of the mind designed to be a defensive mechanism to protect the reality that we have created for our lives. My ego told me things weren’t that bad, that everyone around me was weird and I wasn’t that bad just a little overweight. The lie I told myself kept me in the condition that I was in during my entire life. I was delusional…

The fuel that I used to get started came from a place of truly deep honesty… It won’t be all butterflies and rainbows and fruits and positivity. When you are battling years of habits and trauma, you will need to utilize an equal or stronger force. Something that pushes you further than anything else. For me that was revenge, things got dark… Can we take a moment and be honest? Can I be transparent? I wanted all the women who wanted to be my friend and never date me to now desire me, I wanted my ex to realize how much she could have had if she just had been there to support me. I wanted to be able to take my shirt off and feel comfortable. I wanted to see abs, I wanted biceps that made the sleeves on my shirt tight, and I wanted to finally be sexy to someone and find love! Maybe this sounds like you, or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you wanted to wear shorts and feel comfortable with your legs not jiggling, or you wanted to wear a shirt and not have the fat on your back stick through your shirt because of your bra, or maybe you wanted to be able to have sex with your partner naked and have them look at you and see the sexiest thing on the planet. All of these can be fuel to your spark. If you cannot be honest with yourself about what drives you then you will struggle.

After reaching some level of success in my weight loss I found that what drives us will constantly change. After I began to get attention from women, my ex-wife saw me for the first time after I lost 100lbs and she cried on the spot. I’ll be honest, the revenge was not sweet… It was nothing I thought it would be. I thought I’d be vindicated! Little did I know I felt an overwhelming amount of shame and did not know why or have the tools to manage those emotions at the time. It became time for some new fuel… What you may have used previously to get you started may not push you today. The person you were when you started is not the same. You’ve grown! So you need to find a deeper level of motivation to drive you. This is a good thing. If revenge and darkness still motivated me today I wouldn’t be the man I am to those in my life. As they say, people should look at you and say “You’ve switched up on us, yes that’s correct, were supposed to.”

Wellness Challenge

This week I want you to challenge yourself to find 30 to 60 minutes of quiet time and ask yourself this question. What do I have that I have hidden deep inside of myself that I can use to push me? What emotion has ego buried away deep inside that you can utilize? Find something that drives you and makes you feel passionate. If you tell me it motivates you, I should feel your passion also. If you don’t feel passionate or emotional about it, it may not be strong enough. If you can find this trigger, write it down and dwell on it to use during your wellness process until the emotion is detoxed out. You will experience better health overall and also emotionally more free. I love you <3