In todays issue we discuss the benefits and the cost of putting others before self.

If you have ever flown on a plane you have the phrase “Please secure your own mask before attempting to help others.” In the early 1930s oxygen masks were introduced into planes due to the growth in technology and planes being able to be flown at higher altitudes. It wasn’t until about 1950 that these masks were introduced into commercial applications and were being used for airliners for commercial flights. This too came due to now larger passenger planes being flown above the altitude of 10,000 feet, but why is this message so important to explain before the plane even takes off?

The answer is a term called hypoxia… Hypoxia is what slowly or rapidly begins to set in as your body loses oxygen and begins to function differently. Everyone experiences this differently and can include; confusion, dizziness, difficulty breathing, rapid heart rate, blue lips or skin. This condition can also be life-threatening and even if the plane doesn't crash if you fail to ensure you are able to breathe, hypoxia can cause death. Can you imagine sitting there with a 5-year-old who is screaming because of turbulence and you are confused and dizzy due to the lack of oxygen and trying to be brave and calm at the same time? The rumble and shake of the plane, the sudden dips and wind pushing you around making you feel like you are on a ride at Six Flags! The screams of women and children around you and hearing the fear of a potential water landing or worse… Imagine all of that happening and you can barely breathe, you are getting tunnel vision and the whole time trying to place a mask over a child who is fighting against you because they are just as scared…

This is the reality of so many people right now on their health journey but do not even realize it. Growing up the traumas we experience will cause us to create personalities that allow us to feel safe and grow. I grew up in an environment that caused me to become a people pleaser. I was told I was a bad kid, that I was mischievous, and that I would continue to get in trouble if I didn’t change who I was. So as I grew up I became someone who did anything and everything to make everyone else around me happy so that I could feel safe in my own skin. I would be the friend who “took one for the team” with the girl he didn’t like so my boy could hang out with her friend. I was the guy who smiled in everyone’s face and would throw parties so people would think I was cool and wanted to hang out with me. I was the guy who very often would drive drunk to ensure my friends didn’t get in trouble… Every step of the way until about 30 years old I was constantly giving to everyone else to ensure they were okay first.

Where did this get my life? Dealing with women I wasn’t even attracted to, created soul ties that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of happiness, it made me constantly broke and unable to take care of my bills and buy nicer clothes so I could feel good about myself. driving drunk constantly got me into legal trouble that haunted me for over an entire decade. I was trying to put everyone else’s mask on first before putting my own mask on. I was suffering from hypoxia of my finances, of my health, my emotional wellness, and my mental stability to make sure everyone around me was satisfied just to make me feel like I was loved and wanted… Does this sound familiar? Are you putting on the masks of your husband or wife before yours? Are you making sure your children have their masks on before potentionally saving your own life? Do you make sure your best friend woke up from their sleep and grabbed their mask before you buckled yourself back in and put yours on?

The reason that we must take care of ourselves first is when you are suffering to get oxygen and early hypoxia begins to onset you see life differently, your perspective on safety and love and security begins to change. In real life, you feel like you can’t begin to eat fresh whole foods because your kids prefer McDonald’s and Chick-fil-A. You feel that it would be too costly to take a class to get more education for a job promotion because the family is supposed to take a vacation this summer and you can’t let them down. You feel like saying the word “No” is just the same as saying I don’t love you those around you. Taking care of yourself is the most critical thing you can do for everyone around you. Just like when the masks drop you will be able to breathe and you can calmly care for the ones who are seated with you. When you are constantly in pain or unhappy with your body it’s kind of dishonest to sit and tell your 10-year-old she should love the body that God gave her and you don’t love your own…

Taking care of yourself first in the short term may appear to take away from the others around you, but it is the most loving and healthy thing you can do for your long-term health and the health of them as well. Stop being a people pleaser and making sure everyone is okay first while leaving nothing in the tank to give yourself. Because at the end of the day, we all will leave the earth and the last thing you want to do is have regrets about wishing you spent more time focusing on your health and maybe you would have given yourself an extra 5 years to spend with those around you.

Wellness Challenge of the Week

Every day I want you to find 1 hour to turn off the phone, step away from the computer, and do something for yourself. This can be as little as reading a book with no interruptions, going outside for a walk, or cooking yourself a separate dinner from what you make for the family. Find something that you enjoy and take an hour each day and specifically designate it as “My time". You will find that by giving yourself time you will be happier, more patient, and have the ability to focus on creating better goals and execute them for your future.